


rinse and restart

by kaiohtic



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 09:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13971828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaiohtic/pseuds/kaiohtic
Summary: Jongin never expected to die this way, but he didn't expect to be greeted by Sehun right after death like this either.





	rinse and restart

**Author's Note:**

> If you've read the plot summary, you should have a good idea what this is about. I don't like to tag everything what happens in a fic, so if you're a sensitive soul, then please do not read this fic or be very careful when you do. I do not intend to trigger any bad reactions - this is just a fic, a piece of writing, except this happens to be angstier than what I'd usually write.
> 
> With that said, there were two things that inspired this fic, one is the song Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton - you'll find a quote at the beginning of the fic - and the K-drama 'The Goblin'. I took a few elements of that K-drama, so those who watched it will surely find it easier to understand certain details.
> 
> Also, this was written looooooong ago and I wasn't sure if I should post it, but a friend of mine encouraged me to do so, and thus, here it is. Thank you, Sugary ♥

 

 

 

 

“ Would you know my name  
If I saw you in heaven?  
Would it be the same  
If I saw you in heaven? “

 

_Finally_ , is the last thought Jongin has on his mind before everything turns into fiery red and then pitch black.

He doesn’t regret his decision, not at all. For one, he has had lived a fulfilled life - getting into the school of his dreams, becoming a veterinarian and saving hundreds and thousands of innocent lives. He’s just saving another few lives, this time, human lives, by his action just now, and if his death is the result, it’s okay. He’s been living for almost fifty years now, isolated, because he’s a work-aholic. A lone wolf, because he chose to become one. It’s time for him to go anyways, to go and find his love in heaven.

Though, if he had a choice, he surely would have chosen not to see his own dead body lying on the streets, blood and broken glass splattered around the crash site. It’s ugly, but at least the mother and her child are safe, left with the trauma of almost being run over by a car. Jongin smiles; he doesn’t shed a tear.

“Kim Jongin, 49 years old, veterinarian, is that correct?”

Jongin turns around, the initial surprise of being spoken to followed by a second one when he sees the face of the person he has missed so much for the past two decades. He can’t believe his eyes.

“Sehun?”

The other is as beautiful as Jongin remembers. His face is not marred by time, an exact copy of the picture Jongin is carrying with him in his wallet at all times. It’s the picture of his best friend, his lover, his better half. That was the last one he had taken of Sehun.

“You’re still as beautiful as ever,” Jongin whispers to the male dressed in black, and watches as the other takes a step back, eyes wide. It must be a surprise for Sehun to see Jongin like that as well, to see an almost fifty years old Jongin with wrinkles and lines marring his skin.

“Mr. Kim,” Sehun says, and that’s when Jongin finally realizes that Sehun isn’t simply surprised about what has happened or Jongin’s appearance now. Sehun is simply surprised that Jongin knows him. Sehun’s memories must have been wiped out after his death and Jongin doesn’t know what to feel about it. Sad? Bitter? Scared? After all, Jongin had continued living, wishing for him and Sehun to be reunited one day in whatever comes after death.

 

 

 

 

“So.... how does this work? What is going to happen to me?” Jongin asks. He was led to some sort of teahouse, except it was empty, save for himself and Sehun, the grim reaper. A normal human being would be scared of their soul being taken away, but this is still Sehun to Jongin. He sees the same sorrowful expression in those eyes; it  _must_  be his Sehun.

“Please take a seat,” Sehun tells him with a tight lipped smile. Jongin knows the other is uncomfortable, most likely by Jongin recognizing him earlier. It makes the grim reaper seem a lot less grim, no pun intended.

Jongin does as he is being told and watches Sehun brewing tea. It’s a slow process of boiling the water and rinsing the tea leaves, and a few too many steps in between that Sehun masters with grace. Jongin doesn’t think Sehun had ever learned the tea ceremony in his past, mortal life, and he wonders why Sehun would have learned it now. Is it part of his job?

The question is answered when Sehun looks up at him, and for a moment, Jongin finds endless sorrow in a sea of hazel brown.

“Drink the tea,” Sehun says. “It’s required for you, so you won’t be burdened by memories of the past once you walk through that door.”

Jongin stares down at the cup of what he thought had been green tea, but the color is clear instead. Possibly, to purify the soul, to strip it off everything of this world. Would it erase his love and compassion, too?

“Did you… did you drink it, too?” He asks. He picks up the cup, but doesn’t bring it to his lips yet. The thought of forgetting Sehun when all his life he believed that Sehun had been the one for him hurts. He is dead, but how ironic that he’s still feeling pain, that he’s having a hard time to breathe and suck in the oxygen that a bodyless soul does not need.

He doesn’t expect an answer. The intense gaze that makes his skin warm up and prickle is answer enough. Sehun must be displeased, lips pressed into a thin line. And indeed. When Jongin looks up, he finds Sehun doing exactly what he imagined.

“You didn’t change at all, Sehun,” he whispers and finds the other’s expression changing. The sadness is still there, but there, in the widened eyes, Jongin sees surprise and possibly some hope. Hope that is conflicting with his attempt at staying calm and composed. Sehun had always been like that, his true emotions bubbling underneath a mask of neutralism and professionality, barely concealed, yet he had always been in control. Not of his facial expressions, because Jongin could read him like a book, but his actions.

“Please, follow the procedure,” Sehun says and gestures to the cup of tea. Jongin puts it down on the table.

“What if I don’t want to forget?” Jongin asks, receiving a frown in return.

“Why wouldn’t you want to start your new life with a blank canvas? Why would you want to remember? Memories will bring pain,” Sehun explains patiently.

“But what about you?” Jongin asks back. “You don’t remember your past life. Are you happy like that?”

Sehun is smiling, but he looks sadder than ever, and Jongin feels remorse. He wishes he could take back his own words.

“No,” Sehun says quietly. “But that is because it’s a punishment. My memories were removed and now I have to live with the knowledge that I committed a great sin in my past life. I don’t remember what I did, but I must have been a horrible person, and now I can’t even atone for my sins.”

“Sehun,” Jongin whispers and reaches forward, placing his hand on top of Sehun’s. It’s a gesture meant to comfort, but he sees Sehun breaking in front of him instead. His beloved one is crying in front of him, one tear following the next, quietly, silently. Sehun is whispering something, and if Jongin wasn’t sure that it could only be a trick of his mind, he would swear that he heard a toneless  _Nini_ , the affectionate nickname Sehun has given him.

“I’m okay,” Sehun says and pulls back his hand. He wipes at the corner of his eyes and chuckles, but Jongin is not fooled. Sehun is not okay. His eyes are darker, it seems, even more sorrowful than it had been a moment ago.

“Drink your tea, Jongin. It’s for the best,” Sehun says.

There is no reason for Jongin to delay his voyage to heaven, so he does, taking small sips of the brew. With every drip of liquid, he feels lighter, and yet his chest constricts. He doesn’t know why he is crying by the time he has finished.

“You’re ready to go,” the grim reaper says. Jongin swears, he knew the grim reaper’s name a moment ago.

He is directed to a door. The grim reaper holds it open for him and Jongin says his farewell, no hesitation in his steps as he walks through the door, ascending the flight of stairs that leads to heaven.

“Farewell, my love. Maybe we’ll meet again in another life.”


End file.
